Ugh. Ren stands up, climbs up on top of the table, and -- with a giant sigh befitting only the hammiest of actors -- lays face-down in a pile of napkins.

"This sucks," he announces to the world through his impromptu pillow. "Today sucks. Everything sucks. Life is awful and stupid and annoying and stupid and awful. All the smart people are stupid and Aki-chan has more braincells than every version of Magpie combined."

Dramatic monologue done, Ren turns over and looks at Boyfriend The Second. "Hey, Kou. Wanna...Kou-mment?"