unfoggedlotus | IC Inbox

"...A part of it's due to my early childhood." He stares down at his food, taking a nibble just to ground himself. "I learned what sex was at a very young age, but the associations weren't... positive. My mother and her clients. Knowing how much of a toll it took on her..."

He needs to stop for a second, steady his breathing. Just... ground himself.

"And living with my family... I just didn't want my sister to end up as I was. So whenever I had to relieve myself, I'd do it in solitude, and I'd try to keep quiet, even when nobody else was there. It wasn't healthy how much I fretted over everything."

Edited 2023-11-02 04:12 (UTC)

"I know," Ren says, gently, hugging him. "We'll work on it together. When we're ready."

...The time jump may be affecting him more than he's willing to admit, here. Goro's had a whole two months to readjust to his sexuality and it's thrown him off a bit. Went to sleep with his boyfriend still a blushing virgin, woke up with him still a virgin but much less blushing. Ren's trying to support him all he can, he swears, but sometimes he feels...inadequate, like he's only doing more harm, like the day he arrived in Tokyo before meeting Goro for the first time. He doesn't know what to do for Goro. And that scares him.

He goes a little limp at the touch. It's so much. Even if some of this is retreaded ground, it's still a lingering chain he still has to break. "If it's you... it'll be all right. I can reclaim the part of me that was tainted by everything that happened when I was so small. We can make it our own. Because I love you so much, Ren... and that means all of you."

Right. Food. He should... take a few more bites. The talk is helping. Communication is important.

"But I'm sorry if I'm coming on too strong. It's that damn gay chicken game. I felt so ashamed. Nothing happened, and rationally, I know it was just my body reacting to evocative words. I just hated that it happened when I missed you so much... but that doesn't mean we need to rush. I suppose I'm just anxious."

A kiss to the side of Goro’s head. Ren just holds him, for a moment.

Sometimes that's all it takes to ground him. It's calming enough for him to resume eating, simply enjoying the comfort of his boyfriend's arm around him. Then he sighs, soft as a whisper. "Just having you with me means so much. I don't feel so lost now..."

He can breathe. It's not a dream. Ren's here. It's okay.

"But I know it's probably difficult, too. What was a few hours for you was so much more for me. I'd like to think I had it together when we left Isshiki-san's Palace. Now, I'm not so sure." There's a weak little laugh. He's aware that he's kind of unraveled in ways he wouldn't even think to under normal circumstances.

Ren...all his words have sorta left him. He's never been the chattiest guy ever...he can't launch into inspirational speeches on a dime like Goro can. Wakaba's Palace was...a lot. It feels weird to be ripped from their lives in the middle of all of it. Disorienting and strange and lonely.

Ren just holds his boyfriend closer, tighter.

"You've done a lot to support me since we reunited, Ren. Is there anything I can do for you?" He'll rest his forehead against Ren's, just trying to be close. Supportive. Funny how things went from lighthearted snark to this.

"Rest," Ren croaks, open and honest, tucking Goro's face against his neck. "Take a break." He's not one to talk, since he is, at the end of the day, an adrenaline junkie too...but sometimes he wishes Goro would just sit and let things come to them.

"I am trying." Ah, give him a moment. He should... also finish his meal. Some more bites come before he speaks again. "The movie— That was a start. Something with no bearing on any responsibilities. But I'll try to... well, take it easy. As best I can, at any rate. And if we both end up needing a day off, several people have volunteered to help take care of the kids."

But perhaps not right away. They still need to adjust to this new status quo. Ren is a new part of their lives.

“I’ll catch up to you yet,” Ren promises, quiet, squeezing Goro. “Backup is good. But you’re still sleeping in, Mister!”

"Well, I'll likely sleep better if I'm holding you close." Here, he'll reciprocate with a squeeze of his own. "Though I wouldn't be surprised if Magpie sends a late night text. Or twelve. If you think I have sleeping problems, just you wait..."

"Why are all Akechis insomniacs," Ren grumbles, but it's lighthearted -- he does know the real reason. "Maybe we should invite him over for cuddles."

"We have engaged in purely platonic cuddles in the past, but he did so in his sleep. I'm not sure how comfortable he'd be with the idea of knowingly doing so..."

It wouldn't be a bad idea. Having the comfort of other people would certainly do wonders, he's sure. "I'd probably have to be in the middle, if only because I'm the one who's dealt with his barbs the longest."

"We'll have to work on him a bit more," Ren nods, understanding. "Still...cuddle piles are good."

"I think he'd be surprised that you're so willing to include him. Magpie had the ridiculous idea that I would abandon him now that you're here." Hmm, just a few bites left now. "We'll just have to show him that our love doesn't undermine our ability to form connections with others."

"Wouldn't be good wildcards if we let that happen, would we," Ren jokes. Good, he's eating the last of his food. Ren watches like a hawk (no, not that one) to make sure his boyfriend is eating.

"Precisely. Plus, Magpie and I did establish a link. Evidently, he's my Adjustment Arcana." Hmmm... and just like that, he has finished the food. "The food was lovely, Ren. I'll try not to miss it when it's fresh next time." Here's a little kiss for the cook, naturally.

"Thank you," Ren blushes a little at the kiss. Then a bit belatedly: "Oh! Arcana links. Do you have 'em with anyone else? What are they?"

"Well, there's Akira-kun. He's my Ace of Wands." Interesting that he isn't one of the Major Arcana, but it's a cute option, to be sure. "He actually started calling me his nii-san recently."

"Aww..." Ren coos -- something about that is just adorable to him. "Minor Arcana for a little guy. And nii-san..." Ren might be melting a bit. "Said he was all shy when you first found him, yeah?"

"Very shy, but he's really come out of his shell since. He talks quite a bit more as well." Guh, he's so comfortable, but he should at least go rinse his dishes. Very reluctantly, he gets off the couch. "Once I'm done, would you like to relocate to the bedroom?"

...He realizes how that came out. Ha.

"For cuddling, of course. I'm not in a rush to sleep, so we can certainly continue this discussion in there."

"That's great. I love the little guy already."

Ren chuckles at the second comment. "I know how you meant it the first time," he reassures his boyfriend. A kiss to distract, then a quick dive-snatch for the dishes. "And you'd better go get started on that bedtime routine of yours. I'll do the dishes in the meanwhile."

"True. I could use the shower after all that motorcycle riding..." Hm, he watches Ren for a moment, contemplating. "Actually, I had a thought. We could always try sleeping shirtless, if you wished? Just a small step without having to commit to anything bolder for the time being."

Still just snuggling, but slightly more intimate. It might be nice, but it's ultimately Ren's call.

Either way, he absolutely plans to freshen up so Ren will get the fresh Akechi cuddle experience.

Edited (no space in motorcycle oops) 2023-11-08 02:20 (UTC)

Ren goes off to wash the dishes. "We can do that. It's still kind of hot here, anyway -- not just from you." Wink. "Would be more comfortable."

Edited 2023-11-08 04:17 (UTC)

Oh, that wink earns a little smirk. "It's a mutually beneficial arrangement. Comfort and a view." He chuckles, shuffling off to his room just to fetch a pair of nice shorts to change into after his shower. "I'll try not to take too long."

To Akechi's credit, he doesn't take a terribly long time, which is a miracle given how meticulous he can be with his hygiene. By the time he's done, he's blow dried his hair, brushed his teeth, washed his face, and comes walking out squeaky clean with his uniform in his arms to wash in the next load of laundry.

He's also shirtless, as promised. "There. All freshened up for the night." The shower does also help with temperature regulation, which is a nice little bonus.

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