unfoggedlotus | IC Inbox

Ren blinks at him.

Once.

Twice.

"God," he says, because he's just been hit with a massive revelation. "You're my idiot."

He leans over to give the idiot a big smooch on the temple. Mwah.

"...Well, yes. We do have the rings to prove it." He does relax a little at the kiss, though. "What brought this on?"

His Shadow chuckles at their antics. "To be frank, I think dismissing yourself would hardly help. Just as Magpie is interwoven with the Palace, so are you. I can also imagine that giving up wouldn't reflect well on Drake. He might even take it to mean that you're discarding him outright."

"Which is hardly what I want, obviously. I just..."

"You're hurt, and there's no easy solution. It's not a situation where you'll get the 'justice' or 'apology' you feel you deserve, and so you're left without a resolution, which in turn only intensifies your stress because you lack a proper outlet."

Edited 2024-07-10 02:09 (UTC)

"Tell him," Ren nods at Crow's shadow. "You're an idiot if you think you don't belong on the team. And I think you have to accept that some people are going to be idiots when it comes to dealing with people they don't like. But that doesn't have to be you."

"I just don't know what I can do to fix this. I've no doubt Glitch would be happier without me there at this point. I miss when things were simpler, but I also can't forgive her for her horrible assumptions about Magpie when I know he's trying to do better."

Damn it all. Goro goes for more ramen, just to ground himself. He hates this.

"And I don't know how he'll react. We can't just ignore that we know about his message to Drake, but I don't want to drive him away."

"I've no doubt Glitch would be happier with none of us there," Ren points out. "But she'd be happiest of all with Drake's palace gone."

"I think... I just don't do well with betrayal or feelings that overlap with it. And even if it wasn't a literal betrayal, her assertions that Magpie would use the Palace maliciously felt unbelievably cruel. If he truly wished to hurt Drake, he'd pick up a gun and shoot him."

Setting down his chopsticks, he buries his face in his hand and wheezes out a brittle laugh. "And then, when she complained about Magpie's assumptions about her, all I could think was that she was being hypocritical. I realize that's not entirely fair, especially when there's no defending what he said to Drake, but that was how it felt at the time. It got me seeing red."

"Yeah," Ren repeats, softly, wrapping his arm around the boyfriend. He knows how much betrayal and abandonment hurt him; it's why he clinks their rings together. Forever. That's what he promised, that's what he'll deliver. "She's in the wrong, too. Glitch has more problems than just a few programming bugs." He pets Goro.

"I'm not happy that I'm angry with her. It'd be so much simpler if I wasn't, but it's how I feel." Even so, he leans into the touch. He should really finish eating, but he's just so tired.

"What are we even going to tell Magpie? How do we even start a conversation about this?"

He knows they have to. He volunteered, it's just... hard.

"Tell him the truth and have your younger self make puppydog eyes at him?" He jokes, weakly. "We'll come up with something in the morning..."

Ren looks over to Boyfriend The Second, taking another bite of his ramen. "How are you holding up?"

"And you're sure it can wait until morning..." Goro hardly sounds convinced as he attempts another bite.

His Shadow hums. "More concerned than anything. I wasn't thrilled with what happened back there, but it's difficult for me to get angry. Those emotions weren't part of my... conception, I suppose."

"Those are in Loki?" Ren guesses. Then, just for good measure: "You aren't bad for feeling angry or being a hypocrite back there. Feelings are one thing, actions are another, y'know?"

"More or less," his Shadow says. "I'm sure I could get angry if pressed hard enough, but I think I'm more likely to feel sadness than more hotblooded emotions."

Goro heaves a heavy sigh. "The problem is when my actions end up hurting the people I care about. I'm sure Drake won't be happy with me regardless of what I do."

"I'm sure Drake can come to his own conclusions after he gets the Palace out of his head," Ren asserts, poking him. "You're catastrophizing. Your therapist told me about it."

"...Of course she did." Damn it, Maki. Why are you so good at actually caring about the needs of your clients? "Perhaps I'd be in a better place if she was here. It's so hard to put her techniques into practice without her to remind me when I slip."

He pauses.

"So I do appreciate it, Ren."

"We could all use some good therapy," he nods. "She didn't tell me about you catastrophizing specifically. Just how to identify it." He leans over to kiss the boyfriend. "We'll get through this."

Naturally, Goro kisses back. He needs it right now. "I know, but..."

His Shadow clears his throat. "If you need something to do, perhaps it might be worthwhile to text Magpie? Some of the information may be easier to present that way, so that when we do go to speak with him in person, he's had time to mentally prepare himself."

Ren sighs. "If you think you're in a good enough state." He glances down at Goro's bowl. "After a few more bites of food."

"Yes, yes. I know..." He should probably eat it before it gets too cold, anyway, so back to the ramen he goes. "Ha. Magpie would be so disappointed that we're eating here, but sometimes you need the simple pleasures."

His Shadow enjoys his own meal with a pleased little hum. "You've a personal connection that he lacks as well. This was the original meeting place, after all..."

True enough, heh.

Once Crow's had enough to eat, he takes out his phone. "I'm not sure how long this is going to take, but let's see..."

A conversation soon follows, ending when Crow decides to give Magpie space. Once it reaches that point, he leans back in his chair with another, softer sigh.

"Seems Raven is ready to pounce, so by the time we get home, he may be primed to speak with us."

"Magpie's a snob," Ren laughs, lighthearted. "More cheap, shitty, delicious ramen for us."

And...hmm. He's been so distracted by the everything of today that he hasn't even noticed his own mini-self doing things. "Ren's curious, but he's keeping the little guys busy for now."

"We really should get him a codename." In part because Goro sees this Ren as 'Ren,' but they can worry about that later. "I think Raven may be a bit frustrated that we've been so secretive about the Palace. He mentioned Glitch, and..."

His Shadow tsks. "To be fair, you have access to his every waking moment. I can see why he'd be frustrated."

"We should. Maybe he'll like Lotus..." Ren hums. "Yeah. Kinda sucks that he gets no privacy."

"Lotus is taken, I'm afraid, but I'm sure there's something else we can use." He looks down at his phone, frowning. "I think... I'm going to contact Drake. I doubt it will help, but I can't in good conscience leave things as they were if we're to resume the mission."

Ren sighs. The Boyfriend will not rest until his does this, huh... "Just let me see what you're sending him, ok?"

"Of course." Goro types up the message first, then shows him what it says. "I suppose, if nothing else, it'll be there when this is all said and done. It truly is just..."

His Shadow offers him a soft, sympathetic look. "I believe what happened at the Palace reminds him too much of the day he fully awakened Loki's powers."

Edited 2024-07-10 21:09 (UTC)

Ren nods at ShadowKechi. "We need to get you a name, too," he reminds him. "Thanks."

It frustrates him, that he wasn't there to see Loki awakened. There's so much stuff underneath that experience, and he wants to dig down deep inside his boyfriend and gnaw it all from the depths of his soul until he knows it like it happened to him all and he carries it instead. But he can't. His grip on the chopsticks tightens slightly, but he takes a few more bites to calm himself down.

Edited 2024-07-10 23:04 (UTC)

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